I went to Dictionary.com to gain the official definition for “Backseat Driver”. The definition given was: noun 1. an automobile passenger who offers the driver unsolicited advice,warnings, criticism, etc., especially from the backseat. 2. any person who, by means of criticism, unsolicited advice, … Continue reading
It’s amazing how God works….Let me share this quick blessing to start off your week.
So, Saturday night, I decided to stay in. I was exhausted from a Kids Clinic I participated in and I didn’t have enough energy to also entertain my fellow peers. Needless to say, I was completely okay with staying in because my energy was invested in the future. As I laid in bed watching some movie that Lifetime was showing, I was deep in thought. I was thinking about the fact that at 24, this beautiful, successful and ambitious woman is STILL SINGLE…I sat there puzzled wondering why. I think of myself to be ideal for any man that seeks a woman with substance but I keep getting passed by. This put me in the mode of questioning rather what I think of myself is actually true. The cliche statement “Good guys finish last” does not trump the fact that “Good women are not even in the race”. That was my thought at the time. I started to think are my standards too high….I don’t believe so. I just want a man passionate about God, ambitious, trustworthy, confident and worthy to lead. Is that too much to ask for?
Anyways, so I’m laying there with these poisonous thoughts. The fact that I am asking why is my first mistake. I should never question what’s happening in my life because I know it’s happening for a reason. There is purpose in not having a man at this moment… My second mistake, I started to question myself. I started questioning rather I’m beautiful…rather men see me valuable/worthy….etc. Last but least…I completely remove women like myself out of the “race for love”. Ridiculous. So my answers to these mistakes…First off, understand that with persistent prayer God will make things that you NEED happen on His own time and His own will. I attended church which was about Slow Miracles Happening Overtime With Persistent Prayer. I wondered, have I been praying on a CONSISTENT basis for a man of God? I don’t think so…(Also, let me mention the fact that I was about to miss service yesterday because my body was sore. But I heard LOUD AND CLEAR God told me to GO….Because the message was CLEARLY for me. I was also about to visit another church but He also told me…if it’s not broken why try to fix it? I hear you Father…) Next on my list…I need to refrain from getting into the questioning phase. Deep down I know my worth..No situation should ever have me question myself. I am completely happy with myself inside and out. I love me! Lastly, my whole thought process about the whole “race” thing. Good women are not out of the race…We are so far ahead it’s hard for the others to catch up. It’s that simple. As soon as I said we are not in the race, I belittled our worth.
To sum everything up…if you are single and you’re unsure why, think about it this way, great things come to those who wait (cliche, I know..). To be honest, I haven’t been in a relationship in YEARSSSSSS… Yes I had potentials, distractions, etc….but that’s it. I remember praying for God to steer me away from anyone that will waste my time or distract me from my greater purpose. He’s answered my prayer but now I need to receive the answer. Ladies I honestly think, we are so bent on making things happen RIGHT NOW, but we get discouraged when they don’t. We are a RIGHT NOW generation.. Be patient and wait! Accept the fact that you are single. It is okay! Use this time to make yourself happy. Validate yourself and build into other women who are struggling with it (because this IS a universal problem). When you see others happy with their significant others, be happy for them! But be ecstatic for yourself because when it is meant to be, your King will come!
Thanks for taking the time to read!
It’s Monday! Set the tone for the week!
I’ve been going through some situations that are not ideal. In the midst of my season, I fail to let emotions out because I feel it showcases a sign of weakness. Now let me backup…when I had everything together, I found myself as the glue or the rock for other people around me who may be going through their own struggles. So…now I have this mentality that that’s my purpose regardless of what I MYSELF may be going through. I’m so use to being strong for everyone else to where I forgot how to showcase emotions when it comes to my own life.
Today, after having a conversation with a couple of remarkable women in my discipleship meeting, I learned the importance to be sad, mad, cry. I realized that I’ve been trying to be so strong to where God is most likely looking at my situation saying, “Oh so you’re strong huh? Well you don’t need me. Continue to be strong my child.” My need to be strong made me forget that I am a CHILD of God above all. I must be open to myself and my Father and let him know, I don’t have all the answers, I don’t have all the tools, I don’t know what to do and I need you! He wants to hear it, know it and see it. My strength was a shield masking how I really felt about my current status in my life. To be a child means that you won’t have everything you need to get it right all the time. You need someone to guide you through your journey. So often we try to guide our own way and end up walking into places we don’t belong. Carrie knew what she was talking about with this song. Some journeys are too difficult to go on your own. Learn to let go of that control.
Now let me be clear, after I shed those tears and became vulnerable with my sisters in discipleship, I realized that I was not being weak by any means, I was just being realistic. Everything is not put together and there is only so much I can control before my strength is just not enough. I feel it was important for me to have that moment of realization to actually be stronger. I have an understanding of my season and why I’m going through what I’m going through which is the beauty about it. I’ve prayed for months for clarity and He has allowed me to finally walk my journey fog free. No longer am I telling people, all you need to do is be strong through your storm. You’ll be okay. Get a coke and smile. In reality, that’s not easy for someone who’s been typically strong. The challenge for those who have that strong mentality is to allow yourself to break. Showcase you don’t have all the answers. In reality, if you did have all the answers you wouldn’t be in your predicament, right? I learned today that you will go through your ugly phase. Being sad, having pity for yourself, shedding tears or even getting extremely mad. The great thing about that is, it’s only a phase. Once you overcome that, you’ll be able to find the joy in your storm. And trust me…when you find that joy, there’s no better feeling in the world. Now imagine having that feeling even when you’re at what feels like your lowest. It’s beautiful…
Every.Thought.In.Between 